A couple’s struggle with infertility can seem like an unwinnable battle with a monthly reminder. Each month a reminder that conception hasn’t been achieved, each month aware of a biological ticking clock. The office for National Statistics shows that a growing number of women are putting their education and career first and that infants will soon be more likely to have a mother over 35 than under 25. However, a woman’s chance of becoming pregnant does decrease with age. Fertility peaks in a woman’s 20s and at around 35 a woman’s fertility begins to decline at a more rapid pace. Some studies have shown that a woman over 35 has only a 30 per cent chance of conceiving in any given month. With this abundance of research easily accessible to us all through a quick internet search, a couple can be faced with thinking that conception will be incredibly hard for them before they even start trying for a baby. With each month that passes the belief system that they have created is reinforced and they begin to think they may never get pregnant.
Belief systems are created via specific thought processes. When a couple decides to try to start a family often one of the first thoughts can be ‘what if we can’t get pregnant’. If conception doesn’t occur quickly then this thought begins to form a belief that they can’t get pregnant. There becomes a need to look back over their lives and find experiences which confirm this belief system. They know they have never created a baby before in their lives so that adds to the belief that it will never happen for them. Each month this belief is confirmed, it is proven to be correct, the belief is reinforced and their imaginations can allow the belief to grow stronger and stronger.
Imagination is a fantastic thing when it’s working for us but it can be extremely detrimental when it works against us. Coue’s Law states ‘when the imagination and the conscious will are in conflict the imagination invariably gains the day’. When this law is applied to a couple trying for a baby it means that the greater the belief that a baby will never happen despite consciously wanting a baby, then the imagination or self doubt will win.
Working through The Thrive Programme can help a couple see where their beliefs and negative thinking are holding them back from achieving their wish to have a child. Thrive allows people to challenge their thinking, gain perspective and begin to think more positively about their situation.