December comes with the expectation of fun, traditions, connection BUT it can also bring its fair share of pressure.
Plans change, people behave unpredictably, expectations rise, and suddenly we feel as though we’re being swept along by the month instead of actually experiencing it.
One of the most powerful Thrive principles we return to again and again is this:
Your power lies in your response, not in getting the world to behave the way you want. This is no less true at Christmas.
So this month, I’m showing you how to stay empowered even when life feels outside of your control.
The Core Idea: Every situation in life can be divided into two circles:
THE INNER CIRCLE – What I Can Control
- My focus and attention
- My thoughts and the meaning I give events
- My actions, choices, and reactions
- The way I speak to myself
- How I speak to others
THE OUTER CIRCLE – What I Can’t Control
- Other people’s behaviour, moods, or opinions
- Circumstances, logistics, and weather
- Travel chaos, delays, queues
- Outcomes or “what ifs”
- The past
When we focus on our Inner Circle, the calmer, steadier, and more empowered we become. Conversely when we focus our attention on trying to control those things in the Outer Circle, the more overwhelmed, frustrated, or powerless we tend to feel.
Christmas doesn’t create stress; trying to control things you can’t control does.
Quick Reflection:
Take a quiet moment and try answering these three questions:
- Which situations do I find the urge to control the things I can’t?
(Family conflicts, perfectionism, social pressure…) - What would focusing on my Inner Circle look like in that moment?
- What do I want from this Christmas (I’m not talking presents!!!) and what’s within my control to create that feeling, situation or experience?
Reset Practice:
Step 1: Notice the signal (often a physical sensation) tension, frustration, “What if….” thinking.
Step 2: Ask yourself: “Is this in my control?”
Step 3:
- If yes → take one small action.
- If no → redirect your attention to what is in your control.
Step 4: Take a slow breath and say to yourself: “I choose to focus on what I can influence; my thoughts, my energy, my response.”
The Challenge
Choose one situation this month that usually feels challenging in some way:
Decide in advance how you’ll stay in your Inner Circle; how you’ll think, respond, or speak differently. Afterwards, notice how it felt. Most people are surprised by how freeing it is.
Thrive Takeaway
Empowerment doesn’t come from calm families, perfect plans, or zero surprises.
It comes from remembering: “I’m not powerless, I have the power to choose what really matters: my own thinking.”
That’s the Thrive mindset in action and the best gift you can give yourself this Christmas.
If this has worked well for you come and chat about the next steps and learn more.
This post was written by Thrive Programme Coach Annabel Hitchin
